On a not-so “Fab” Ad

2007 was a heady year for environmental politics.  An Inconvenient Truth won an Oscar, the “Live Earth” concerts gave people a reason to watch network television in July, fluorescent bulbs finally became affordable, and the lexicon absorbed a panoply of new buzzwords like “going green,” and “carbon footprint.”  That year some interest group, perhaps intoxicated from bio-diesel fumes, posted ads in the subway which read: “Caught Doing Laundry During Peak Hours!”  Pictured was a thirty-something woman holding a laundry basket—her mouth agape with horror at her misdeed.  I found these ads ridiculous.  Of all the environmental boogey-people to target, they apparently settled on what they thought was the worst of the worst: stay at home moms.  They shouldn’t do their laundry during the day when corporations have non-green-roofed, non-LEED certified office buildings to deep freeze.  They should do such indulgent activities at night.  “I’m sorry, Timmy, Mommy can’t tuck you in tonight.  She has to wash your clothes for tomorrow while the power grid is in low use.”

2009 has brought back another series of irksome ads.  They range from the silly to the irresponsible.  In the former category are the ChooseVeg.ca ads promoting veganism.  As a bloodthirsty carnivore I realize that I’m already biased against their message.  But touting the virtues of the “curious and insightful pig” and the “inquisitive, affectionate, and personable” chicken is too comedic to take seriously.  In the latter category are the MoneyMart ads which promote the fleecing of poor people with 400% APR payday loans (see the Slate article on their shiftiness here.)

But I suggest the worst offender for awful advertisements is Bell.  I’d like you to meet Liam.  Liam is part of Bell’s new “Fab Ten” promotion for cellular phones.  He’s from Toronto and describes his style as “Street Chic.”  In the ad he proudly sports “the perfect Cardi/Hoodie combo.”  Liam “[g]ot it on sale Xmas Eve when I was supposed to be shopping for a friend.”

Let’s get this straight.  Liam is vain aesthete/last-minute shopper who’s so selfish he can’t even do a simple task for a friend without pampering himself with another purchase?  Liam is, in short, a douchebag.  Who on earth would want to be like Liam?  I am, at this moment at least, proud to be a Rogers customer.

I generally like ads.  I’ll sound like Don Draper if I say that they can enrich our experience of everyday products by imbuing them with an aesthetic charm.  Imagine blow drying your hair after a shower without the image of lustrous locks billowing in slow motion.  It seems so regal to do something so quotidian thanks to the folks at Pantine.  But I’m afraid that this Bell ad appeals to a much baser instinct in us.  It doesn’t elevate the notion of style, but celebrates an empty kind of aestheticism that’s solipsistic and sad.  Why care about your friends when you can buy a phone for yourself that matches your hipster wardrobe? 

It’s good we have other arts, like poetry, to remind us that sometimes the world is indeed too much with us.  This poem by Wordsworth implores us to “go green,” but in a way that ads chastising desperate housewives could never do.

The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon;
The winds that will be howling at all hours,
And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers,
For this, for everything, we are out of tune;
It moves us not.--Great God!  I'd rather be
A pagan suckled in a creed outworn;
So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,
Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;
Or hear old Triton blow his wreathèd horn.

                              —William Wordsworth—